Camila Baker Lives In Concert

The actress playing Camilla picks up a chair and walks towards the proscenium. The actress playing Virginia does the same. Both sit on their chairs acting like they are inside Virginia’s “car” which is conducted by her. Scene Two begins.

CAMILLA

Virginia, are you my best friend?

VIRGINIA

Well… Yeah… I think so.

CAMILLA

How come you think so? Either you are, or you aren’t!

VIRGINIA

Well… I always thought Melody was your best friend.

CAMILLA

Melody is a deceiver. She said she was my best friend, but… She took Joseph away from me. He loved me, he wanted to marry me and she seduced him, that slut!

VIRGINIA

But you always said you hated Joseph, that you’d never ever marry him!

CAMILLA

It doesn’t matter! That’s no excuse for what she’s done to me. I hated him. True! He and that awful breath of his… But she took him away from me. She shouldn’t have done that to me! But now answer me, are you my best friend or not? I have to know.

VIRGINIA

Well… if you insist… But why you wanna know whether I’m your best friend or not?

CAMILLA

For Christ sake, Virginia! Why all these questions? Can’t you just answer me with a simple yes or no?

VIRGINIA

I’m trying to figure that question out through a larger scope in order to obtain a lucid and satisfactory answer on such a complex issue regarding our friendship!

CAMILLA

What the hell!

VIRGINIA

I don’t want you to be mad at me, Camilla!

CAMILLA

Virginia, I have something in here, that I’ve kept deep inside of me and I need to share it with someone. And who would be a better person if not my best friend? That’s why! Virginia, I need to know! Are my best friend or not?

VIRGINIA

Well, Camilla, you should know that we couldn’t measure friendship with words! We should judge friendship through actions!

CAMILLA

So what?

VIRGINIA

So What? Well… Let me see… You want to know if I’m your friend/

CAMILLA

I want to know if you are my best friend! Carol, for instance, she’s my friend. But she isn’t my best friend ‘cause she is already Sandy’s best friend. And I don’t think someone could be the best friend of two different people at the same time.

VIRGINIA

All right. You want to know if I am your best friend. But, have I ever acted in any way that hurt your feelings, disappointed you or didn’t show you how much I love you?

How much I care for you?

CAMILLA

There was that time when you chopped my favorite doll’s hair…

VIRGINIA

Please, Camilla! We’re just kids!

CAMILLA

Well… You told Harold that I’ve already gone out with all the guys in the neighborhood when you knew that I was in love with him!

VIRGINIA

But that was true!

CAMILLA

No, it wasn’t! I hadn’t been out with all the guys in the neighborhood! I hadn’t been out with Harold yet!

VIRGINIA

Well… anyway, I think none of those things prove that I’m not your best friend!

CAMILLA

At chemistry’s 101 final test you gave me only the wrong answers! I failed and I couldn’t go to summer camp to meet Clayton!

VIRGINIA

I didn’t do that on purpose! I must have copied them wrong myself!

CAMILLA

Are you sure? Then, why you started dating Clayton that very same summer?

VIRGINIA

Well… You can’t blame me for Clayton falling in love with me!

CAMILLA

He didn’t fall in love with you! He was just using you!

VIRGINIA

And how can you be so sure about that?

CAMILLA

‘Cause of the letters he sent me every day!

VIRGINIA

But you never told me anything about it!

CAMILLA

You never asked!

VIRGINIA

Camilla, I never thought you could hide something like that from me! I always thought you were my best friend!

CAMILLA

But, ‘till a few minutes ago you couldn’t tell whether you were my best friend, or not!

VIRGINIA

So not true! I think I’ve already proved my friendship to you!

CAMILLA

Like what?

VIRGINIA

Like what? Well… I can’t remember any right now. But, I sure am your best friend! And I feel really sad to know you doubt it!

(VIRGINIA starts crying and she let go of the steering wheel. CAMILLA grabs the steering wheel, desperately and tries to control Virginia’s car)

CAMILLA

Oh, please, Virginia! Don’t! I didn’t mean it! I didn’t want to hurt your feelings! I don’t have any doubts about your friendship. I know you are my best friend!

(Calmer, VIRGINIA grabs the steering wheel again, tranquilizing CAMILLA.)

VIRGINIA

Oh, that’s nice, Camilla! You know I like you so much that I’d never do anything to hurt you either!

CAMILLA

I know. But why did you tell all the boys that I had syphilis?

VIRGINIA

(crying again, letting go of the steering wheel)

Oh, Camilla, please! How rude!

(CAMILLA grabs the steering wheel, desperately.)

CAMILLA

Forgive me, Virginia! Now, that I know you are indeed my best friend, I think I can tell you my secret!

VIRGINIA

(Curious, stops crying and grabs the steering wheel)

A secret?

CAMILLA

Yes! You know, Virginia… I’m going to run away from home! My parents don’t know yet but I’m going to Broadway. I’m gonna be an actress and, some day, when I dwell in the Olympus, I know they will produce a play telling pieces and parts of my life and my greatest successes: Camilla Backer, Life and Work!

(CAMILLA notices the way VIRGINIA looks at her, in disbelief)

CAMILLA

Well… Maybe I’m overacting…

VIRGINIA

Yes. Just a little, perhaps…

CAMILLA

Do you think I’m talented?

VIRGINIA

Talented? Well…

CAMILLA

Yes or no?

VIRGINIA

Camilla, you know I’m your best friend and I’ll always be there for you. And you can count on me whenever you need, except on Tuesdays ‘cause I’m at the gym.

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